Showing posts with label Sunday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sunday. Show all posts

Habit

21 days

3 weeks

They are said to be the magic numbers when working on breaking a habit.

I am working on breaking a habit, but it is the hardest one to break. More so than heroine, tobacco, even alcohol. I have the habit of food. I did not get overweight by having a good relationship with food. I know that, and won't deny the way I abused food. How do you even begin to work on a habit, where your weakness is all around every day, every where! Willpower? If I had enough of that, I wouldn't be overweight would I? Food, it is in our everyday lives, obviosuly, in my home, tv commercials, billboards... and the list goes on. Having food in my home is like having a heroine loaded needle in every cup board for a heroine addic. Maybe heroine is not the best to compare because unlike food, heroine is not heathly in any amount, but the availibility to food on my part is like the loaded needle. Let erase the healthy amount of food. So it would look something like this: Healthy amount Over Eating. Late Eating. Unhealthy foods. Those in bold, they are my heroine, if you will. 1 to 3, those odd are not in my favor. As a family we have also eliminated Unhealthy Foods. So again Healthy amount Over Eating. Late Eating. Unhealthy foods. My needle is only half full (or empty) now. The harder I work, the more it pushes back. Yes, I am down 10lbs (go me) but I can't say I am doing it the most healthy. A healthy weight loss includes eating 1200 calories a day, lots of water, working out, you know the drill, but I am consuming 600, on a good day. You can't just eliminate food, but where can I find my happiness and get my break when food is my habit?







Commitment

Why is it so hard for me to commit my life to the Lord. I tell myself over and over, I'm going to church today. And how many times have I followed through... 4 times out of a million maybe. I have people tell me "Church is not the only way to have commitment." Yes, I know this, but in my case it's a necessity (in my eyes) considering I don't feel well enough educated to dedicate and commit my life.

There are times I feel embarrassed to go to church if I don't have someone else besides my children to go with me. Why? I am not going for any ones benefit but mine. How can that hold me back when I know this is what I want. Why can't I make that commitment?

I do not want my relationship with the Lord to gain strength only when I need him. I have seen this in many cases. Something devastating happens and then people turn to God. I want that bond and relationship now. Why can't I make that commitment?

Other things that run through my head when contemplating weather to go or not is the fact that since I am uneducated, I have a million questions that I can not just shout out as the pastor is speaking. I come home, I feel lost and people around me don't seem to want to talk about the service. but this is NO reason to not commit because only with time will I be able to go back and answer my own questions. Why can't I make that commitment?

So here I sit on a beautiful Sunday morning writing about wanting commitment to church and the Lord instead getting myself, my children and my husband ready to go.

WHY CAN'T I MAKE THAT COMMITMENT!!!?
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