Babies, say what? Yes, my little Woodie (that just don't sound the best =] ) had 3 babies yesterday about noon-ish. I was nervous when I found them because momma was under the bedding, hiding. The babies were all calm and doing good but I only seen 2 of the babies at first.


On with the slacker end of this post....
I said that I would come back (the next day but obviously this is not...) and post about my #1's. So yes, I'm late. I should know to never plan a post on Calvin's days off. I am no good at blogging when he is home.

Is that good or bad?
    Read on and then decide.


[one] pick up my bible that is collecting dust! Teach and learn from it!:
 Well I am happy to say this is a big YES!! Not only have I picked my bible up but my family and I have been going to church. God is great and we feel so good!
[one] believe in myself:
What exactly does that even mean? I would say there are many points of this short goal. I seem to have complications with believing how good I am at a certain things. I know I can do a lot of things but I have little faith that I can really do them, and so I don't. This is still a changing manner but I can and am slowing believing in myself again. Since starting a serious weight loss (healthy living) life I have seen that I can do it. I can be reliable. I can set goals and reach them. Now the next thing to work on is not procrastinating. I believe I procrastinate because I have a long thought process and (again working on this goal) I am not sure I can do it correctly if I do it now without thought, even though many people tell me YES you can.

[one] be more thankful for my husband and his hard work.
I have always been thankful but I did lack in letting him know. I know how awesome I feel after I have cleaned the house and how down I can suddenly turn if Calvin does not praise my hard work. Why shouldn't it be the same for him. Yes, he is working for our family because, well, he has to. I expected him to tell me "It looks good in the home" but I would give nothing in return for how awesome he is and how greatly I think of him and the many things he does for our family. (Honey, I love you)

[one] take more time for family and family activities:
We are always doing things as a family. Since Calvin has been on a 10 on 4 off work schedule, we have so much more time to really do things together. Last year he began this schedule and on his days off we would still sit at home and he would relax and enjoy it. As time went on he was feeling more rested and more used to the schedule and we would head out of the home on the days he had off. Now you hardly see us home when he is on days off. We are always out doing something. I love it and it is so healthy for our family. We have grown this past year, for that I am blessed.

[one] get healthy for my family and myself:
If you have been following me this year, you will know the answer to this. Not only am I getting healthier for my family, but Calvin also. We have been eating healthy for well over a year but lacked on activities to get us moving. That is no longer the case. and since winter is finally over (even if we have had snow in may) we are outside even more and doing many things to keep active and get healthy.

[one] spend more intimate time with hubby
I will not go into details, but this goal has been succeeded and the way it has pulled us together is bliss. I love that I am loving myself and in return loving my husband wholeheartedly.

Tis the day for best and worst dressed. The day after the Oscars, a day in the news. In fact that is what I am basing this post off. I did not get to enjoy the Oscars this year as the husband was into another program. So here is to catching up on the Oscars.

Do you have an opinion on this years features? I would love to hear about it.

I finally have something worth blogging about. Not that you readers don't enjoy my day to day life in my shoes, but hang on to your pants (no pants on the ground here) I think you will enjoy following along with this!



Today is the sign up and weight in for Calvin. Our town is finally doing something worth participating in. Weight Loss Challenge. Signs ups are at a local Holiday Inn today, you give in a little bit of cash, and if you win...cash $$ and prises~a good motivator. It is a 12 week program with a weigh in every week. Calvin and his sister are going to participate and sign up, and while I am not going to sign up I am still going to participate and loose the flab.

My goals are as follows:

• work on a healthier menu for the family
• work out at least 20 minutes everyday. this includes, but not limited to, Wii fit plus, treadmill and a stationary bike.
• set a realistic weight loss goal
• motivate and encourage my husband

I am not sure how my posts will go from here on out about the Challenge so stick with me as trial and error will only lead me to the best result. I also want to mention that I would love to share progress with you but only after it has begun. I do not think I am comfortable enough to go public with my weight just yet, but I think once I have lost 10 lbs or so I will then share, knowing I am heading in the right direction.

Look for an update
to Calvin's experience after
he Weighs In

What's that saying? Looks are deceiving. This runs true in many aspects of peoples lives. When you are fat, people seem to think you are shy, unlovable, gross and so on. When you have an awesome car like a Cadillac, people assume you have money, and lots of it.

There is also that other saying. Don't judge a book by it's cover! I have suffered with weight issues for a long time now and I know of the judgment people pass when they see me. I have to say it's a shame (not to toot my own horn) that they didn't get to know the real me. I am so much more then what they see. Same with the nice vehicle. I drive a Jeep just to clear things up, but you see someone in a Cadillac and think, whoa that must be nice. What is nice? The insurance that is high, the payment that is even higher. Now I am not saying that everyone with a Cadillac is in debt over their nice ride, I am just saying, you truly never know!

Where am I going with this. Well I am going a lot deeper then the car you drive. I am talking about the relationship I have with my husband. We have now been together for 8 years. Things have always seemed to be okay. But in the house, behind closed doors, it was more like a friendship. Someone I was living with. Someone who was depressed and I was also. It was not sexual 98% of the time, it wasn't lovey dovey, it was more like I am mom, he is dad and that was that. We were not husband and wife. Somewhere in being mother, taxi, wife, cook, cleaning lady, I lost Jessica. I lost Jessica as loving wife to my more than wonderful husband. I lost Jessica the fun going mother of 2 adorable daughters. I was just gone.

Who knew that one chat with the hubby, and the expressions of emotions and feelings between the 2 of us could change everything. Guess what?? I found Jessica. I found my sex drive (maybe more than Calvin can keep up with) I found that mother I have always known I was, I found the joys in cleaning my home to feel good not just to have it clean enough. I found that drive I needed to start working out and really hunkering down on my eating to get in shape and healthy for myself! For Jessica! For Calvin, who loves me no matter what but is right there on my weight loss journey pushing me and working out (literally) right beside me and keeping me positive about my acing muscles and sore legs/arms/abs and such. But more importantly, for my children who want to run to the car with mommy but can't because mommy can't breath (lol) or want mommy to slide with them, but I am lazy and would rather watch from the grass. I don't want to die a young age from problems cause by being obese. I don't want to deal with diabetes if I can avoid it. So while the most important person is me, my weight loss is very important to and for my family as well. (sorry that kinda of jumped off the relationship anyways..)

Are you struggling in your relationship with your spouse? Don't be ashamed, no one EVER said love was easy! So here we are with another saying, Don't sweat the small things. Well I guess it all depends on how you take that, but it was the small things *(see below) that the hubby and I put back into our relationship that has helped us move up in the love department, helped the sex drive, dissipated the depression and made this house a home again.

*more than a peck. I don't expect you or myself to go into a make out session, but a deep kiss can lighten any mood, make you hubby feel at home when he arrives home and with Calvins makes him long for more (after the kids are in bed of course)
*holding hands. in the car, at the mall, even at home. the power of touch is amazing and makes me as a women feel that even if he is not saying I love you, his hand, entangled with mine shows me the love.

One more saying before you go.

We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.

5:33 P.M.It took me a while to get back to my blog because I have a craving that I felt was going to defeat me. I felt shaky, dizzy, I was day dreaming and just not together. I could have cried on request and turned around and blew fire from my nostrils. How did I deal, well I took a nap. Addisyn was sleeping and Brianna was watching cartoon and almost asleep. When I woke up I felt fine. No craving, no need, nothing! It was nice. I think one thing that triggered it was that I ate. Well I also just ate dinner, and this time I feel well. So far! I am not even wearing a patch! There was one time that I thought about going outside, and that was right after I ate and I was thinking I will let the family finish then clean up when I get in, but honestly it was not that bad of an urge. I got over it fairly quick and like I said feel good now.

Calvin is feeling much the same way that I am. He is short tempered right now, and I forgive him for that! He also can't handle a noise going on for an amount of time (ex. Addisyn crying) without getting frustrated and hanging his head. Again I forgive him and understand! I am sure I am the same way, but I don't really see it. I know I am triggered by the smallest thing, and tears well up, but I don't let them roll! I take a breath and chill! haha. I am now at 18 hours from my last cigarette!

7:09P.M.Success! We went to Calvin's fathers house because it is his fathers birthday. Well while we were there I seen at least 4 cigarettes light and it the smell was obnoxious! Was it torture? Not really, because I prepared myself before we went over there with a fresh patch and also with the mind set that I was strong enough to make it. Not only that but I know that this would not be the first time in this situation. I am proud of myself! I feel like I have done well!

Since it in 9:00 in the east, I am going to post this now, and my updates will be at the top for the rest of the night!